I sat down today intending to write a post about how judgmental parents are of one another. This topic has really been nagging at me but I can't get it down on paper. Every time I try to write about it I get overwhelmed by my own personal hypocrisy and I stop. Admitting that I'm just as judgmental and competitive as everyone else doesn't make me any better. It probably makes me worse because I recognize what I consider a fault and can't seem to stop.
I've been tired, irritable, anxious, and a little anti-social lately. I've been struggling to post anything because I can't seem to get my real thoughts on paper. I just get anxious about what I want to write and worry that I'll regret posting something later on. So I don't post anything or I post about things completely unrelated to what is going on in my head.
But lately that's been annoying me too. As I just mentioned, I've been generally irritable lately and I'm irritated that I can't write anything of substance. I'm sick of feeling like the only thing I can talk about is feeling tired and irritable.
I figure I'll write the next thing that pops into my head just to get going.
I made bread this morning. I thought a house filled with the smell of baking bread on a rainy fall morning would be really nice. But I forgot to add the yeast. The bread sucked.
And that brings me back to being tired and irritable. It's a vicious cycle.
At some point I'll finish the post about how judgmental people can be and you'll all know what a hypocrite I am. Until then, I'll blame everything, including the failed loaf of bread, on being tired.